Today felt different. I decided that no matter what I did today I would do it with love. Today it made me realise all the moments I slip out of it. How easy it is to get lost in a story, a store, a street, the mental traps and navigations put in place, and the mental stamina It will take to re-direct myself back.
Today was simple, and the interactions were quiet and wonderful. I saw a sweet lady who loved pink wear combined shades in her whole outfit. I saw a mother in the supermarket nuzzle her nose into her child and whisper 'I love you' like a gruffalo. People say 'Hello!' and 'Morning!'. The Women on the bus told me the beautiful places in California to visit, she told me about the weather and how San Francisco isn't like anywhere else. The woman in the store kept apologising for something that wasn't her fault. She was sad someone had stolen something, she said 'if only we could control people' and I thought to myself, 'if only we didn't want to....' I think if we let people be beautiful they would take every given opportunity. We have a natural way to organise ourselves towards creativity.
The two women in the gym supported eachother through stories of divorce and new love. The man bopped his head to the music unable to hide his joy for it. The security guard laughed when I told him a joke. Tenderness in a uniform is a lovely thing.
Writing this its reminding me that the love I witness doesn't barge itself in front of me, but is detailed and woven, like a gentle tapestry of neurons and electrons fusing us all together. In this documentary they talked about Dark Matter. This invisible force that doens't respond to light but is moving through everything all the time. This invisible and powerful energy, that we only let move through us. This made me think a lot.. To let love pour through and not let small moments of arrogance allow me to think for a moment, that I invented it. I rest my skin in the idea of breathing love in every moment. I remember:
“its not what you can get
but what you can give
(think this, and see how it changes you)”